reading time: 2 min
Yesterday I met up for lunch (and cake 😍) with my mom, the wise owl, and we talked about anything and everything, as always. We talked about my recurring feelings of insecurity, of loneliness, of being caught in this roller coaster of emotions, of ups and downs, again and again. I want to share with you what my mom said to me when I told her that I felt like I kept falling back into negative thought loops, like all the work I had already put into dealing with my personal issues didn't make any difference.
This is what she said:
You know, our mind is like a garden. You can't lay out perfectly neat flower beds and expect them to stay like that. The weeds will come, and they will always come back, no matter how often you pull them up. It won't do you any good to expect them to stay away. It also won't help if you come to the conclusion that removing the weeds won't make any difference. What you can do instead is pull up the weeds regularly – don't wait until the entire garden is completely overgrown. And just like you have to cultivate your garden, you also need to cultivate your mind. Don't wait until you are completely caught up in the tangles of your mind. Instead, check up on your mind regularly, and whenever you notice a destructive thought, pull it up.
I really like the image of the "garden of my mind" that my mom created. It reminds me of something similar the Indian writer Ritu Ghatourey said:
"Our mind is a garden, our thoughts are the seeds, you can grow flowers or you can grow weeds."
In other words, you are responsible for the thoughts you cultivate in this ever growing garden of your mind. You are the one to choose which thoughts are to stay and bloom, and which are to be removed. I find this quite hard to grasp, but it is in fact your choice to either accept or refuse thoughts and beliefs like "I am worthless" or "I am not beautiful" or "I am not good enough". These are the weeds you will have to pull up again and again before they undo all your hard work. Otherwise they will outgrow you and make you feel miserable, ugly, insecure, worthless...
For the next 24 hours, think of yourself as a "thought harvester", or the gardener of your own mind. Plant empowering thoughts, and get rid of suffocating weeds. Remember that a thriving garden needs fertilizer. So provide your mind with nourishing content such as inspiring books or podcasts, acts of self love (from daily affirmations to pamper routines), morning meditation, gratitude journaling, and conversations with like-minded people.
Take care of that garden of yours. It's not easy, but it's worth it :)
Take care of that garden of yours. It's not easy, but it's worth it :)
♥
Maisy
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